A friend recently posted on Facebook that he wished he could write limericks for a living. I sent him the following by way of a business plan.
I figured out how you could make a living writing limericks. Just send these sure-fire attention-getters out to every web site in the world.
Dear Website Owner:
We are an internationally recognized SEO firm that is too busy to find out your name or line of business or put a real return address in this e-mail. Neverthless, we are asking you to believe that we have examined your web site carefully and determined that your site does not come up on the first page of search engines for relevant search terms (whatever they are). On more examination, we believe it is because you don't have enough limericks. Key words and content are all and good, but in this day and age, what really drives up organic page rankings are limericks. To solve your limerick deficiency, we propose to write one original limerick for each page of your web site.
We believe in our program so much that we will provide you with the first four limericks for free, so you can see the results for yourself before proceeding. After that, additional new original limericks will $35@, unless you want to subscribe to our limerick monitoring service. For $2000 a year, we will populate every page of your site, then monitor your site for new pages, and periodically rotate or replace the limericks we have already placed. You may cancel the service at any time; however, we will not refund any outstanding balance until we are certain that you have removed every limerick from your pages.
All you need to get your first four limericks free is to click on the address-obscured third-world link below and enter your credit card number and the three-digit security code on the back of your card.
Looking forward to doing business with you, I am
[Fake American-Sounding Name Here]
SEO Limerick Wizards, incorporated.